Jul 30 2009

Google, Bringer Of Analytics, Part 2

Aram

– Part 2 –

Once again, we turn to Google for today’s post.  This time, type in “why is my wife” and “why is my husband”.  And again, check out the suggestions Google comes up with based on search popularity.

googleWife

Note the similarities and differences.

googleHusband

I’ll call out mean, angry (mad), and crazy (moody) as similar questions each sex has of the other.  This points to a disconnect that can be remedied by communication and further explanation.  Many times people simply just need to sit down with each other and say, “No, what I meant was…” or “I understood you to mean X, did you really mean Y?”

The differences are more interesting to me though.  The first unique-to-men question asked about women was “Why is my wife unhappy?”  It looks like we could conclude that a large amount of men think their women are unhappy with them, right?

Let’s look at the women’s perspective. The first unique question women asked about men was, “Why is my husband selfish?” From here, it looks like a large amount of women seem to think their men think only of themselves.

Could it be that many women are unhappy because their husbands have stopped pursuing them?

Think about it.  Men, if our wives saw that we desired them and chased them like we did when we were…well…chasing them, how could women think that we only think of ourselves?  Women want to be objects of desire far more than men do.  Not just sexually (although that’s a big part of it), but emotionally also. They want to be cared for, pampered, secure. Women have a security gland that men simply don’t possess.

Our women want to know that we’re thinking about them, that they’re important to us, and that when we’re not with them, we’d rather be.  If our wives knew that, it’s hard to imagine they’d think us selfish.

It’s also hard to imagine they’d be unhappy about the attention.


Jul 29 2009

How To Save Your Marriage

Aram

…from your kids.

Yes, kids put a strain on your marriage.  When your first kid is born, there’s suddenly this demanding little slug that simply cannot be ignored.  You will put blinders on and sacrifice everything for them, ignoring yourself and your mate.  In return, they will really only understand anything about your needs after they’ve grown and left the house.

Luckily, Parenting.com has some sound advice (link goes to the CNN article) on how to maintain your marriage after kids.

The List:

  1. Create warm welcomes
  2. Try 20-minute reconnects
  3. Set early bedtimes
  4. Share the load
  5. Encourage your kids’ independence
  6. Revive your past
  7. Put sex on your calendar
  8. Fight as if the neighbors can hear you
  9. Remember: Dad’s way works too
  10. Be a cheap date
  11. Understand the stages of marriage

It’s worth checking the article out for further exposition of this list.  I especially like the closing statement.

…you don’t have to choose between a happy marriage and happy, secure kids.  By having the first, you’ll likely get the second as well.

Truer words was never spoke.


Jul 26 2009

How To Kill Your Marriage

Aram

Patti Luzzi, of the Bellevue Reporter, has some sound advice on how to kill your marriage.

I’ve condensed it to 5 easy steps.

  1. Treat your spouse like a child. Be sure they don’t have a say in any important decisions.
  2. Blab to your friends about how awful your husband or wife is (Bonus points for criticizing your spouse in front of your friends, or better yet, your kids!).
  3. Withhold praise and appreciation.
  4. Criticize your spouse’s family.  That always wins big points.
  5. Avoid affection at all costs.

There you have it.  A sure-fire recipe for disaster, without the pain of messy affairs or worries about legal rammifications later on!

You can even split amicably.  Call it Irreconcilable Differences or something.

Of course, if I had to vote on any of the above Props 1-5, I’d vote them all down, but what do I know?